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Why Spouses Cheat

Archive for April, 2009

Women Want to Know Why Men Cheat

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Friday, April 10th, 2009
When you partner cheats on you, the first question you ask is why? cheating husbandWhy men cheat is a subject that has been studied  for years. Experts have come up with several different reasons to explain why  men cheat on their partners and others do not. Women feel victimized when they find out their husband or boyfriend has cheated on them and think it is something they have done or not done. In some cases, this is correct, but not in most.

When a man feels that his needs are not being met at home or when his partner does not seem to have time for him, then he will likely be tempted to turn to another woman to have these needs met. It does not mean he does not love his partner. He just needs to feel that he is wanted and appreciated. There may be problems in the relationship and the man feels that  he is justified in getting his needs met elsewhere.  The husband may not even want something permanent outside of the relationship and often does not want to end the marriage or primary relationship. Read More→

Categories : Husbands who Cheat
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Is Being True to One Partner for Life Realistic?

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Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

An Enlightening and Intelligent Interview with a Psychology Instructor:

As a full-time psychology instructor at a community college, the question that I hear most often from my students is: “Is it natural for human beings to be monogamous-especially males given the excessive production of sperm. Why would nature/God give men so much sperm if they didn’t need it?” We all agreed that monmonogamyogamy is defined by agreeing to be sexually faithful to one person. One person asked: is it natural to agree to be sexually faithful to one person? I asked people to raise their hands if they feel comfortable sharing their mate with another lover. No one raised their hand, except a Muslim woman who said that they are taught to accept it if there husband takes another wife. She went on to say that her cousin’s husband took another wife and her cousin told her that it felt like a piece of her had died and that she could never look at him or love him the same. I am proposing that most humans would much rather be in a sexually intimate relationship with one person at a time. The problem with infidelity is that even the people who want to have sex outside of their committed relationship want their partners to be faithful to them. “Why do humans desire sexual fidelity?” is a topic for another article.

I would like to answer this question in two parts, first by analyzing the meaning of the question and secondly, by applying the theory of evolution to excessive sperm production.

Let’s discuss the term natural. Usually when we say that something is natural we mean that it happens without human intervention, that it is inevitable, that we have no control over its cycle, path or destiny. When I think of natural, I think that it is natural for humans to die. It is natural for humans to excrete waste from their bodies in the form of urine and feces. Even though it is “natural” for humans to excrete waste from their bodies, how, where, and when can be determined by their culture. Their culture decides whether or not they we use an outhouse, bushes, a whole in the ground or a toilet. So even though we can make the argument that it is natural to use the bathroom, like humans, even dogs and cats can be trained on where and when it is acceptable to use the bathroom. Read More→

Categories : Monogamy & Faithfulness
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Emotional Infidelity — What is it and How Can it Be Avoided

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Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

Are you a woman who shares secrets with a male friend? Are you the kind of man who reviews his weekend plans with a female co-worker? Or do you go out for drinks with a colleague of the opposite sex?emotional affair

If you are married and answer yes to any of these questions, then therapist M. Gary Neuman has one word to describe your behavior: Unfaithful.

“We can’t fool ourselves into believing that we can have intimate relationships at work and still have a great relationship at home,” says Neuman. “My message is that if you want to infuse passion and have a buddy for the rest of your life, you have to keep that emotional content in your marriage. Otherwise, it’s not going to happen.”

Neuman, a Miami Beach psychologist, has raised hackles in the marriage counseling field with his book, Emotional Infidelity, that decries male-female friendships outside marriage as a form of adultery.

The funny thing is that while Neuman’s views may seem extreme, even his critics say his central premise – that friendships between members of the opposite sex can harm marriages – is probably valid. Having an emotional affair is usually how it begins.

“It’s a concern,” says Shirley Glass, an Owings Mills psychologist and longtime researcher into marital infidelity. “Many love affairs begin just that way, with an emotional affair.”

When is friendship an infidelity? Where does the emotional affair begin? Read More→

Categories : Today's Cheating World
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What Makes a Spouse Want to Cheat?

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Sunday, April 5th, 2009

Have you ever wondered what makes spouses unfaithful to each other in the first place? I’m sure they didn’t marry with the intention of becoming a cheating spouse–so what brought them to this point?

Many psychologists who specialize in infidelity offer solutions on how to find proof that will catch your unfaithful partner in the act. Instead of putting all of your efforts into finding proof of their unfaithfulness, it is possible that your energy would be better exhausted understanding what went wrong (or is currently going wrong) in your marriage.

It’s fairly common for cheating husbands or wives to give up on a relationship the instant things begin to become a little difficult.

Rather than admitting and accepting the fact that their is indeed a problem in their marriage that needs attention, the cheating spouse often begins their quest to find someone else to fulfill their needs. These needs could be anything from a physical connection to a seemingly innocent friendship that leads to an emotional affair.

For the most part, unfaithfulness occurs because one spouse’s needs are no longer being met by their partner. The cheating spouse is then drawn to someone else who, in their eyes, will temporarily meet their needs.

What increases the likelihood of an affair is when one spouse has irrational ideas of what love is supposed to be like and spends their time looking for the perfect person, but never finding them. Everything seems so right at first, but the irrational partner will quickly become disillusioned and end up in and out of marriages in search of their perfect soul mate?.

Soul mates may exist in romance movies, but in real life it takes hard work to create and nurture a lifelong relationship.
Like it or not, marriage takes effort. It doesn’t have to be difficult, just a conscious effort on both parts.
If you sincerely desire to win your spouse over after they have been unfaithful, you need to know how to meet their needs.

Every couple enters into marriage with expectations of the other person that will end up unfulfilled at one point or another.

The cheating spouse generally does so because they’re in search of unmet, yet unspoken deep emotional needs. It’s as simple as that. If you aren’t meeting your spouse’s needs, then there is always the possibility that they may be in search of someone who will.

This fact is also one of the reasons why most affairs don’t last. Let me explain:


Read More→

Categories : Why Spouses Cheat
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