What Makes a Spouse Want to Cheat?

Have you ever wondered what makes spouses unfaithful to each other in the first place? I’m sure they didn’t marry with the intention of becoming a cheating spouse–so what brought them to this point?

Many psychologists who specialize in infidelity offer solutions on how to find proof that will catch your unfaithful partner in the act. Instead of putting all of your efforts into finding proof of their unfaithfulness, it is possible that your energy would be better exhausted understanding what went wrong (or is currently going wrong) in your marriage.

It’s fairly common for cheating husbands or wives to give up on a relationship the instant things begin to become a little difficult.

Rather than admitting and accepting the fact that their is indeed a problem in their marriage that needs attention, the cheating spouse often begins their quest to find someone else to fulfill their needs. These needs could be anything from a physical connection to a seemingly innocent friendship that leads to an emotional affair.

For the most part, unfaithfulness occurs because one spouse’s needs are no longer being met by their partner. The cheating spouse is then drawn to someone else who, in their eyes, will temporarily meet their needs.

What increases the likelihood of an affair is when one spouse has irrational ideas of what love is supposed to be like and spends their time looking for the perfect person, but never finding them. Everything seems so right at first, but the irrational partner will quickly become disillusioned and end up in and out of marriages in search of their perfect soul mate?.

Soul mates may exist in romance movies, but in real life it takes hard work to create and nurture a lifelong relationship.
Like it or not, marriage takes effort. It doesn’t have to be difficult, just a conscious effort on both parts.
If you sincerely desire to win your spouse over after they have been unfaithful, you need to know how to meet their needs.

Every couple enters into marriage with expectations of the other person that will end up unfulfilled at one point or another.

The cheating spouse generally does so because they’re in search of unmet, yet unspoken deep emotional needs. It’s as simple as that. If you aren’t meeting your spouse’s needs, then there is always the possibility that they may be in search of someone who will.

This fact is also one of the reasons why most affairs don’t last. Let me explain:

When your spouse first met the ‘other person’, they thought that the other person was meeting their needs. Because of the bitterness they have towards their current partner, everything with the new person looks much better than it is in reality. The cheating spouse, for a time, becomes blinded by the ‘romance’ stage of a new relationship.

You and your spouse went through that stage at one point also. If you think back, you will remember that in the beginning of your relationship with your spouse, you went through all of those fluttery, romantic and lust filled feelings as well. Looking back, it might even seem like your spouse was a different person back then.

The reason?

There is actually a chemical released in your brain that gives you those infatuated feelings with this other person. It would even be safe to say that cheating spouses will not think straight when they’re caught up in this biological phenomenon.

This is one of the reasons why couples are tempted to making irrational decisions early in their relationship. Down the road, after the romance stage of the relationship is over, many of the couples who got married too soon, are quickly divorced.

So if you’re worried that your cheating spouse is actually in love with this other person, the chances are very good that the affair is (or was) a brief mistake and you actually can win your partner back, if you want to.

You owe it to yourself (and your children if you have them) to give your marriage a second chance. In fact, here’s a statistic that might give you some inspiration…

Statistics show that about eight out of ten couples who avoid divorce, even through infidelity, they end up being happily married when revisited five years later. There is hope for a damaged relationship.

If you can bring yourself to the point of forgiveness, seek counseling, and get over the affair, you can once again find the love that was lost. Overcoming infidelity will be difficult, but when you get past this obstacle and start meeting each other’s needs, I promise you, your marriage will be much stronger and more fulfilling than it was before.