When you partner cheats on you, the first question you ask is why? Why men cheat is a subject that has been studied  for years. Experts have come up with several different reasons to explain why  men cheat on their partners and others do not. Women feel victimized when they find out their husband or boyfriend has cheated on them and think it is something they have done or not done. In some cases, this is correct, but not in most.

When a man feels that his needs are not being met at home or when his partner does not seem to have time for him, then he will likely be tempted to turn to another woman to have these needs met. It does not mean he does not love his partner. He just needs to feel that he is wanted and appreciated. There may be problems in the relationship and the man feels that  he is justified in getting his needs met elsewhere.  The husband may not even want something permanent outside of the relationship and often does not want to end the marriage or primary relationship.

Sometimes a cheating spouse simply wants it all. He wants the permanence and security that comes with being married, yet he still wants the freedom of being single. Sometimes the thrill of the chase is what lures the cheating spouse to look for another woman or perhaps even several women at the same time. They have an insecurity that creates an inner need to know that other women still find them attractive and that they still have what it takes to get a date.

There are times when men seemingly have no intention of cheating on their partners and it just happens. For example, a man going on a business trip may just feel lonely and after having a few drinks in the bar one thing leads to another. He will feel very contrite after this and vow never to let it happen again. However, there is a sense of excitement involved in cheating on a partner in another city where the chance is great that he will never get caught. Soon one cheating event can lead to others until it becomes an addiction, just like gambling, drugs or alcohol.

Men sometimes feel as if they stand out as a hero among their peers when they cheat. They feel that their ability to cheat and get away with it, raises their status among their friends. (Of course this makes one wonder what type of immoral friends they are trying to impress) The cheating spouse may have a secret yearning for more sex or just friendship that develops into something more.

There are so many different and complex answers to this question that it is impossible to discuss them all. Cheating spouses often do not realize the damage they are doing to their relationship, even if the affair is long over by the time the partner discovers that they have cheated. When the opportunity presents itself in the form of a woman coming on to them, this is an ego-booster for men who have been with the same partner for some time. It lets them know that women still find them desirable. Some men who practice self-discipline are able to let this type of situation go with just a few friendly remarks, while others want to explore  further to see where it can lead.

What it really comes down to is a few key points. First, never justify an occasion to cheat. If your spouse hasn’t paid attention to you lately, or the two of you have argued on and off for years–this is not a free ticket to make matters worse. By cheating on your wife, you are causing an entirely new problem that will have to be dealt with at some time and it may cost you everything.

Lastly, do not put yourself in a situation where you will be tempted to cheat, or even to develop an inappropriate friendship with a female coworker. We all know where this can lead.

Bottom line, if your marriage is damaged, fix it. That is what being a man is really all about.